Let me say this. Yesterday was a rough and tough day for me. It was riding on a fuckin' emotional, crying jag of a rollercoaster day people. WTF was going on for me. I just rode on my ride and such. I was missing my little Malcolm so, so much. Wondering how he is doing, wishing that he hadn't died a while back. Has it been two years or more already. Yesterday it felt like he just died, taking his last breath in my arms. I loved him so, so, so very much. Writing this I thought it would help. Well, my tears are welling up again in my eyes, and the pain in my soul are devasting. I miss Malcolm. He had a happy life here on the Island with me and his little girlfriend Sadie. I feel that he died too early because he missed his Sadie. I wasn't enough, so he had to go on, so he and Sadie could be together again. Oh Malcom, I miss you so. I was never alone. I still am not alone because there is Myla always with me, and Hannah is close also. I want to be happy. Yesterday wasn't a good day for me. I rode my bike three times, hoping that the exercise and air would make me feel a bit better. It helped, then I would be back in my sad place again. I am hoping that today will be a better day. It doesn't help that I am up at 4 am and there isn't really anything for me to do. OK there probably is, like cleaning. Why, clean the clean. So I am sitting here writing and tears come down my cheeks because that is what is going on. Myla and Hannah got feed early at 5 am ish. They are zooming around, doing there thing, as I am. I don't like that it stays dark outside now until almost 7 am. That is the nature of the beast, the days shorten up of sunlight, the nights are longer, and one spends more time in their head thinking. Sue, for heavens sake, stop thinking.

OK folks, this wasn't too upbeat of an entry today, just wanted to be honest in how I am doing currently. Peace within yourself.