The struggle has been so overwhelming. I miss my mom. Some days all I have done is just sit after taking care of the cats and Randy. So I woke up today and said that I have to shower and wash my hair. I have now accomplished that one huge self-care task. Now it has started to rain outside, the rain is my tears for now. I will try not to cry today, oh, I will try not to cry so much today, I miss my mom.