I did write an entry here a couple of days ago, but you know sometimes one hits the wrong button and poof, it is gone. I don't rewrite it, it becomes just a memory of the past.

Up way, way too early this morning. Don't know why, just feeling sad again. My husband told me yesterday that he isn't feeling well. Then on his way to work last night, his director of nursing called his cell and told him not to come in. He is suspended, WTF. Well apparently he told the director of nursing that a CNA has been eating at the desk in the work area. He has talked with her many times. Finally he went to the director of nursing. Well this CNA got 20 residents to file something that says they don't want my husband taking care of them. So there is going to be an investigation. He will be suspended without pay until the issue is resolved. If they fire him over caring about the rules/laws, etc. then that is just awful. If they find that the allegations are untrue they will have him back at work and he will receive pay for those suspension days. He has worked at the place 2 years now. The CNA has worked there 7 years. This makes me crazy and very worried. My husband said that he wasn't feeling good before this call, now he feels even worse. Again we have talked about him retiring. His issue is the money. My parents have been putting money in annuities etc. for both of us for years. He needs to call Merrill Lynch and find out how much he would get a month if he would start now. I get tired of listening to him complain without investigating what his options are about retiring now. He just says that there wouldn't be enough, how would you know without calling and asking questions. My parents have told us that if we start using the funds that they will not put any more money into them. So what I say. If he needs to do this, he can. To me his mind, body, and well being are more important. So back to the work issue. He has a meeting at 2:15 pm today at his work place. Won't know anything more until he gets home.

Now I have been trying to enjoy having my granddaughter here. I did until my husband told me that he hasn't been feeling good as of late, and now this. See when I got a water out of the frig this morning I noticed that his lunchbox was in there. So I thought, maybe he called in sick. Then I checked my phone and there was a missed call from 9:50pm last night. So I went out to the garage, turned on the light and there was he car. I knew he was in the house. I went upstairs to his sleeping room and could see that his light was on. I went in, his eyes are all red and I asked him what was wrong. That is how it all began, our day, very early this morning. Time to wait. I will work hard at putting up a fake front for him and pretend so our granddaughter continues to have fun here. Follow up news: The team decided that there was nothing wrong and are going to pursue the person who has been eating at the desk constantly. The meeting took over two hours. The wait was horrific on my part. Oh well. I feel bad that I react so hard and sad about this in front of my husband. I seem to kind of panic. My husband is very very stoic. You have to get past his demeanor to know how kind and caring he is. If he was my supervisor I would be intimidated by him. So enough said, he went to work last night and he will be paid for the night before. The sun is just starting to peek out here, looking like another nice day to play, play, play outside. It is the Warren's Cranberry Festival this weekend. So the traffic is going to sound loud going by on the highway. It is all those Q-Tip ladies going to find that most wonderful item they all seem to need. Oh hey, I better say nice things about those Q-Tip ladies now because at the end of the month it will be almost 200 days since I have had color put in my hair. Holy cow I am getting white/gray hair now. My husband and I will be twins.