The final day of January 2005. It feels like it just started. I called my parents yesterday. They were home. They have been gone since Thursday. My dad had a doctors appointment for his heart checkup. Yeah the day before their 50th wedding anniversary. My dad's cardiologist has retired and he had to see a new one. Well, over the past few months my mom has finally told me, dad hasn't been able to do what he normally does. He tires easily. My mom said that she has been taking his blood pressure alot. My mom is a nurse. My dad's blood pressure is high. Now they didn't prescribe a higher or different dose of blood pressure meds. My mom said that they have to make an appointment at Abbott Northwest this week to get dad in. Oh yes, he had an EKG and there were changes in that from the previous ones. My dad had quadruaple by pass surgery at Abbott a number of years ago. There is alot of family history for heart disease, etc. I take blood pressure meds and I am 49, I have been taking them for a number of years now. So my mom finally told me that my dad isn't trully doing well. She is preparing me mentally. I wonder how they are doing, especially my mom. When they were here at Thanksgiving they shared with my husband and myself that all the arrangements for their funerals have been taken care of and will be paid for. They are ready for when it happens.
For the emotionally part, I don't know. I know that over the years I knew that it would happen. My dad has worked hard for 15 years to keep healthy. My son was around 5 when the first surgery occurred if I recall correctly. It seems that I have just been waiting for that call again. I don't show my emotions up front. I have to keep it together to help my mom and sister through this. It will help that they have made plans for the funeral.
I don't have anything that I need to say to my parents especially my dad. We never really show emotions and aren't affectionate. I have issues with my parents but nothing that hasn't been resolved within myself.
I needed to write about this because this will be a continual part of my life.