Hello. What should I write about this fine morning? I don't have a clue. Should I just pick something out of my hat? OK then.
Last night I had a meltdown, pity party for one. Just pull up a seat and let her rip out my soul. It was that bad. I haven't had one of those all year. I have had a couple of mini ones but this was a biggie. I got through it, and now I am better. It doesn't help much when I started keeping track 20 days ago that my husband hasn't said I love you first and there hasn't been any hugging or physicalness. I then told him about how I was feeling. He didn't really have a reaction. Lately I haven't been feeling too appreciated. I do appreciate myself and all I do, though once in awhile some kind words and or kindness would be appreciated from him. I don't mean to make him out to be awful unemotional and/or unfeeling, but he is and can be. I don't know what is going on in his mind and I don't try to anymore. I have come to the realization in my life that this is how it will be with him and I will just have to love myself more and appreciate greater what I do. I love my pets very much and I know how much they love me. Last night and many other nights when I lay trying to empty my mind so I can sleep, I try not to think about being lonely. Sometimes I am, I am good at being alone because I am always busy and I am outside most of the time. I know that this is how my life is and chin up, do the best I can to be joyful and happy about it. I believe I have written down what I am feeling. Putting it out there for myself to see it written down. At times I think when I don't feel very well healthwise is when my emotional sadness state kicks in a bit. I haven't been doing too well. My BBB(bundle branch blockage) I have has been bothering me a bit. My blood pressure rides low alot, I mean alot and the past week or so it has been doing the spikey thing I call it. It wakes me up in the middle of the night, I have a headache, so I know I need to get up and go take my BP. It is higher than normal so I have to take a BP pill at 1 am. So then I go lay down again and work on relaxing. Having to do this really breaks up the night and what little sleep I normally get. So on August 2nd when I go in for blood work and to see my main doctor, and I will have to tell her about this. Don't want to, because the issue usually passes. I was told by my cardiologist that down the road of time I will probably need to have a valve placed in my heart to regulate the BBB. I just don't want to have this happen too soon. So I just keep on truckin' in my life.
Today it seems less dewpoint so far this morning, with a breeze going on out there. I have already walked both dogs, though separately. That works better, then they can go at their own pace. Malcolm is very slow and stops to sniff/pee on everything. I am in no hurry, so when it isn't zero outside and alot of snow, I don't care how long his walk takes. Now Sadie, on the other hand, walks fast, likes to walk just on the edge of the woods. She is listening for the chipmunks. She does her business and then back home. She never wants to come in after the walk, so I hook her up to sit outside for a few minutes. She comes in after about 5 minutes because she doesn't want to be alone. We are such a pack.
Well my carrots are done now, I am sure, I have been boiling them on a low boil for over an hour, probably an hour and a half. I think I will have some, what the heck. I have been up since 3 am just laying in bed until 4 am and then we all got up.
That is it from around here, over and out, peace.