I got all the boxes checked. Yeah, right, not. Don't you ever wonder when someone tells you that they got all their boxes checked off for the day, you wonder, did they or are they just fooling themselves that they were able to get a whole hell lot accomplished. When I get up each morning I have a few things to do outside of what I do everyday in my routine. I have to apologize to myself lately, because I just can't seem to take care of my physical self. I lost 2 more pounds. Where the fuck did they go? I haven't showered and washed my hair now in over 20 days. I haven't been a good girl and soaked my feet like I should, I was told to do this twice a week. All I can say is that I put my needs on the bottom rung. I get all of the other tasks done, and then I guess I am just tired of doing, and I just sit and stare outside a lot, or I am outside. I walk, go for a bike ride, or do the yard work that I am constantly doing. You know, I don't, or wouldn't have a clue if I was given a vacation. I don't know where I could go, what I could eat, etc. and blah, blah, and more blah. I am not feeling sorry for myself, or I haven't had a pity party for one in a long time. I have just been sad a whole lot because I miss Malcolm so, so much and Sadie. I miss the before feeling I used to have and believe in with Randy. This is just another hicup or bump in the road in my emotional healing journey. So just bare with me. I am trying. I really am trying just to be ok and peaceful within myself. Peace.