Night One..... (2019-03-17 - 2:41 a.m.)

Oh my god. Laila started to cry around 7 pm or so because she was missing her daddy so, so, so much. My heart went out to her. After her daddy left, she was fine all day up to that point. We had been outside, walking around a lot, and she was tired, she had gotten a lot of air. She ate really well for supper. She loves her daddy so much and she knows that she spends the whole weekend from Friday night to Sunday afternoon with them at their apartment. Roll forward, by the time she needed to go to bed she was a sobbing, snotty mess. We called her daddy so that she could say good night. Well, got ready for bed, did our routine, have a bedtime snack, picked out our daily sticker and put on the calendar, go brush our teeth, and say good night to the doggies. She did this with some crying. We talked about this. Well, then I got her in bed, by then she was sobbing and wanted to go back to her daddy. She said that she missed him so much, though she said that I would be sad if she left. Oh my god, so tough. I worked hard at soothing her and reassuring that she would be seeing her daddy and his wife to be next weekend. She also said that she was worried a lot about it flooding here, and her daddy wouldn't be here. She didn't want to have to get in the little boat if she had to. As the evening moved along, she was crying so hard at times that she was getting very sweaty and hot. I texted my son, and he said that tomorrow is another day, and just do tough soothing, and let her cry some, she will fall asleep. Do you know how tough that is? Oh my god. Well, I don't know who fell asleep, me or her first. I even called my husband to ask him what to do. He didn't know, he felt I was doing the best I could. Apparently he asked his nurses on his shift for advice, then he texted me what they had suggested. I was already doing what they suggested. So yes, today is another day. I know the day will be fine and fun. She said her day was great, though, then(last night) she was missing her daddy terribly. So now it is the tomorrow, and another day. She over all these years has never been like this here. I apparently don't do too well with her crying, she said she was in pain from missing her daddy. OK enough of that. I just needed to let this out and move on, because it is another day.

My son told me yesterday while we were alone, that her other grandmother awhile ago went through having a section of her colon removed because she has/had colon cancer. This is her second cancer. She had throat cancer. He said that she can no longer drink. My granddaughter told me last evening that she has to wear pull ups, which means adult Depends. She is in her 50's I think. I feel bad for her and her health issues. Yet I have talked with her many times, and she has never said anything. They don't ever want anyone to know what is going on around their house or their family matters. Sad.

Yesterday, while granddaughter and I were out walking, our neighbor called. He got my St. Patrick's Day card I sent to both his wife and him. He wanted Randy and I know to know what has been happening to Patti. She is in the hospital. She still is. She was in ICU really sick with an UTI, and some terrible infection. She was in ICU for two weeks. He said that she almost died. She got past that, and was moved out of ICU to another floor. He called his son and he came from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Oh my god. Patti is so strong. She isn't ready yet. Mike told me that she would tell the nurses that she was seeing cats all over the hospital room crawling on the walls. She told them that her husband had been dead for three years, and other things. I feel so sad for him. He said he didn't know if he was coming or going. It has been and continues to be a living nightmare for them. So much going on for Patti and him. He knew Laila was coming if there wasn't going to be a flooding issue. When I told him she is here, he wanted to talk with his "ray of sunshine," because he needed to smile. Oh god. After she got done talking to him, and she was saying good bye to him, we always say in unison we love you Mike. He said that he loves us too. So hung up with talking with him, and she asked me what was going on with Patti. Being honest I told her. This was when she told me about what has been going on with her other grandma, and that she has to wear pull ups now. Oh god.

How much can a little girl of seven take emotionally? Her daddy tells her how strong she is and to be strong. I feel that with being so tired and hearing about Patti, that it finally got to her last night. It is good to have a cry for yourself. Today is another day.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for us. I just needed to let this out here. Life is tough, and the strong females need to release sometimes, and crying helps.