Seems like a long time since I wrote here, that being 5 days. Five days ago was Tuesday. I did get my hair colored and a trim. The color is great, and she didn't take off too much length, she said just enough. My next hair color appointment will be in May, that seems far, far away.
Moving along with the week, hmmmmmmmmm, nothing much until my son calls me at 8:15 am on Friday morning. He never calls this early, so if you are a parent, you know how I was feeling when I picked up the phone to answer. He had to tell someone, a police were there, they knocked on his door, but he didn't answer it. He will be picked up for his active warrant one day, why put it off. So he told me, what am I supposed to do. I asked him about his cats, this is when he said to me, I will talk to you some other time and hung up on me. Yup, I hit a nerve.
I had called his girlfriend on Thursday to see how she was doing, with having gotten a tattoo on Tuesday. She was sore, and taking care of it. She asked me if I had talked with my son lately. I told her no I hadn't. She said that they broke up. She said that she had alot of thinking to do about this. I said alright. I just listened to her.
Now back to the conversation with my son on Friday morning. No, I didn't ask about anything concerning his relationship. I have decided that he can tell me what he wants. I have to step back and not continue to ask questions anymore. I have to put a larger separation gap between the two of us.
I'm back, I went to the bathroom, got dressed, stripped my bed linen and it is being washed now as I write here. So back to my son again, I was sad last night because as I was sitting and thinking about all of this, it hit me like a ton of bricks, this isn't at all about me and how I feel. It is about him, his heart and soul, his choices in life as an adult. I shouldn't feel so awful about it, awful meaning, what did I do as a mother raising him, what should I have done more of. My husband said that I didn't want to have conflict so I gave in alot and gave him everything. He had a word for it. The truth hits you smack in the face. That was a few weeks ago that he said that in a conversation. He said that for himself, he was just stupid in some of the decisions he made concerning our son, so much for hindsight. So yes it has been tough the past few days. Haven't gotten alot of sleep, though I never really do. I ate something that didn't agree with me Thursday afternoon, so I spent Thursday night and almost till 3 pm Friday having a hurting gut and alot of bathroom time. Oh well. I can't imagine what is going on in my son's mind and how he is dealing with all of this. I think, for what it is worth that he has been in denial, and that he figured it would all be fixed, like it always has. Well, I am not going to fix it. I can't. I am sapped financially, after all these years since in moved out at age 18, I have been the "Fixer."
In other news, that being in the news, the people who have been unemployed now will no longer be getting unemployed checks after 63 weeks. Well for me, my unemployment checks will end March 17th, 2012. So now if I want to have some money, I have to decide if I want to start using my WI Retirement Fund. So overall, I have been having a sort of eventful week. What can I say?
I am back again, Sadie was whining a bit, so we all went for a little walk. While out, Taffy typed all s's here, so I had to backspaced those away. The guy across the road and his friend look like they are going ice fishing, it appears to be another nice day for that. So Sadie didn't poop yet because the neighbor guy's friend back in with his truck, they were loading up the portable ice fishing hut and making alot of noise. So we will have to go out again when they are gone. This is about all I got for now.