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Realization of Self Needs.... (2012-01-16 - 7:06 a.m.)

Last night I had a moment or reflection while lying in bed. I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. So my mind wandered and pondered a bit. It wandered and pondered on that it is too bad that no one knows all the potential I have to offer. All the advanced degrees I have. All the wealth and vast knowledge I could share and expound on or to you. Then I thought, who the fuck cares anymore. I like being at home, not having to make my body get up and go to work at a certain time. Making my body go, and it is still hurting. Being at work and my digestive system hurting so that I just want to lay down on the floor so I can stretch it out. Or what about having to go to the bathroom and I can't when I need to. Come on, I am glad that I can take care of my health better now. I also note that I do feel alot better. So maybe I should try to work from home. Doing what, heck if I know. I like to do research. I am a good searcher. I called and applied to what I call a private investagotar job awhile back. I knew the man through his ex-wife. I worked with her. He told me that he didn't have any job openings, it was just him and another fellow. I ask alot of questions, and I am a wondering person, and then I have to find out the answer. I strive for answers and I like mysteries to solve. Maybe I should have gone into police work and become a detective or something like that. Or how about just doing forensic research for someone, that would be interesting. I like to dig for facts and information. There is alot that I could still do. I can only do what I can do right now, and that is to continue to accept my situation. Overall I am doing alright, a person has their moments of feeling sorry for themselves. I don't think that I could fit into the day to day structure of a stay at your desk job. My body wouldn't tolerate that now, and all things considered, I want my body to stay healthy. If I would have to find work, I would, if a circumstance happened which would make me have to work. This not finding a job right now, allows, for others to hopefully find a job, it frees up one job position. I want to help.

GO - SWIMMING

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