So I had a mini-me meltdown yesterday here at home. My sister sent us a Christmas card, it is about the only time of year she sends anything. She doesn't even do our birthdays. I so feel and think that she feels obligated to do this. She also sends us a Wal-Mart gift card. Thanks sister to making yourself do what you don't really want to. I know that I don't sound very nice here, but why bother when you haven't bothered keeping in touch all year. My son called and he also said that he got a Christmas card and Wal-Mart card from his aunt. I just wish she had taken the combined money and sent it all to him. So when I was writing out my thank you card to her yesterday afternoon, I wrote it out how I really felt and read it outloud to my husband. He said that you aren't going to send that are you. I said no and tore it up. Then I went and got another thank you card out that is a holiday thank you and wrote out the approaprite words to convey thanks to a relative. I know that we can't choose our relatives. So I had a little meltdown and then I went and took a nap. I felt better after I woke up.

Today is I hope going to go alright for my son. He has his mediation meeting with, who I call, "psycho bitch." I don't have alot to say about all of this, because it is his decision and it could affect the rest of his life. So while I am getting my hair colored he will be almost there. I don't think that I will be too relaxed today, but I will have to hide my true feelings as usual. Thank heavens for my husband and being able to put it all out there.

So I don't have much else to write about. I will be doing the waiting game again for most of the evening. I can't make it all go away, I can't make it any different than it will be. I will say that our illusions are always our most precious possessions. I so remember when his life was innocent and pure, then he grew up and made choices.