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Living Within.... (2009-06-01 - 5:50 a.m.)

The weekend is over, thank heavens. I didn't feel the best. I dealt with my body. OK, my mind and soul were along for the ride so to speak. Even at Friday afternoon at work I felt odd, it was so hot in the building. I was sleeping a bit on Saturday night and I was woken up with my body doing the shivers thingy. I could also felt my heart just a going. So after three tries because I kept getting an error reading in my BP cuff, I got a BP, it was 185/114 with a pulse of 91, yupe it was spiking alot. So I popped a BP pill and sat there for a bit. I had my phone just in case I needed to call 911. I will only call 911 if I feel like I can't breathe or swallow really easily. I do this mind thing where I work on going limp almost so that I can slow everything down. I had a hard time with the body shivers. I was still dealing with them off and on on Sunday. Didn't sleep worth shit for two nights. Sleeping ok isn't my body's forte. I know I am whining here, but come on, I so wanted a relaxing weekend for myself. I guess I shouldn't wish for that. Anyhoo, I just go along with my body and hope that it gets happier. Right now, at this very moment, I am just sitting. I hope that at work today I can get my spread sheets done for the month of May's revenue. I will just do the best I can, and I never really tell anyone anymore except my husband how I am trully doing. I lie because it is easier. If something with my body happens at work, then I will deal with it there and then. It is just the way it is. So what if I am tired today, I will come home and get to bed early so that I can get a little sleep. Enough garbage spilling out about this old body.

I really wanted to finish, "Duma Key," yesterday, but I didn't manage to do that. It was getting scarier, and since my husband had to work, I decided not to continue reading, because I have such a vivid imagination. It is very dark here at night where I live. When I put the dogs out when it is dark, and I can hear snapping and cracking just outside the edge of the outdoor lights, I sometimes kind of freak. It is especially eerie when there is no wind and it is so calm, you think the bugs must be huge they are so loud at night. So I plan to read a bit more tonight, all things considered. I just row with it all and being here in this old body of mine.

I really don't have much else. I work June, July, and August everyday now, 5 day weeks, unless I am sick or something. I get the Friday off before July 4th, so that weekend will be a three dayer. I also work 8-4:30pm, where all the techs chose to come in an hour earlier so they can leave an hour earlier each day. They have to rotate though a week of 8 to 4:30pm so they can close up their side, plus on Thursday some have to do the 8-7 pm because of open painting for the public.

If you read all of this entry today, thanks for putting up with all the whining, I just need a place to let it out, so that it will be forgotten, and I just go on living within myself.

GO - SWIMMING

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