I had a so-so day. Around mid-morning the phone rang, and I must have been sleeping pretty good, because it jerked me awake and made my heart race. I hate when that happens. Well it was my son calling, oh boy, I thought, right, what now. So he goes on to tell me that they are coming here to visit the Easter weekend. I told him that I didn't want them to come here. Why, I will tell you why. She did some terrible things to him over this past year, I wrote about them. I don't want her here, because I don't trust her, she hurt my son. He says that is in the past. I also told him anyone who puts out there cigarette, he did this, on the side of the house, and I think also the deck rail, because he was to fucking lazy and disrespectful to smoke outside totally and use the coffee can I had filled up with sand for, for him to use. I believe that anyone who disrespects your property really can't respect you. He went on to say, that they bought the little girl a cute Easter dress. I thought this, I didn't say it, why the hell did you spend money on that, and not put it towards your bills you owe for. I also said that I don't want them driving here, and then by chance stopped because he hasn't renewed his license plate tag, and who knows what else, car related that he hasn't done. I don't want to have to pay out more to help with that. I would have to give them some money for gas also I am sure. I am already paying $535.00 per month for their rent, and I am now paying their electric bill off so they don't get their power cut off. He still hasn't a job, though I am going to work now so that I can help them out monthly and so that my husband and I can have health insurance. My medical appointments didn't go all that well, because I told my doctor the truth about my body, and what I have been dealing with. Oh and coming this Friday I have to have a catscan on my head, because I have been having constant pain in the right side just next to my eye. It may go away for a time and then it is back. I get the catscan the day after my colonoscopy. I am so lucky. I figure I just want to know what it is, and if it is something or something there I want to get it fixed. I have made myself very sad today because I told my son how I felt and I feel bad that I may have hurt his feelings. I suggested that they go and visit her parents, and he told me that they see them frequently. I really would like to see my granddaughter but I don't feel safe around his girlfriend, because I know everything is a big fucking lie. I didn't really know if I should write this all down here, but I thought, who the hell cares what others think, this is for me and I need to release how I feel. I need a place, my home, where I can come and be somewhat at peace. I don't want people here, at our home, who make me upset, angry, or feel unsafe. So don't judge me for being honest to myself.