Life Is a Bowl of Sucky Things Sometimes... (2008-12-14 - 6:50 a.m.)

I don't usually wake up feeling hungry, but this morning I did. I couldn't eat though, I have to take my one meds on an empty stomach, then I have to wait at least one hour to eat something. So finally I can eat something. I grazed through over half a row of organic wheat crackers. I know, I haven't done that in a heck of awhile. They tasted super duper good to me this morning.

The weather is a changing here, big time. Yesterday a real warm up, and now when I put the dogs out this morning, it was drizzling. So I turned the Weather Channel on to see where the storm/blizzard is going on. It is currently moving into where my folks live. So I suppose that they will definitely call me from GR(Grand Rapids, MN) sometime today. My dad before he started his education in becoming a superindent of schools, wanted to be a weathermen. So he is big into meteorogly(hey, I spelled this wrong, forgive me). So that makes me, big into knowing all about weather and weather patterns. I did so well in Earth Science in junior high, because of my dad and his passing on knowledge to us kids. Back to what is coming. Up in Northern Minnesota it will be a blizzard. Down and over in Minneapolis where sister is it will be rain, freezing rain, snow, and below freezing all within a 24 hour time span. That is what we here in Central Wisconsin are going to get. I really want to get to work tomorrow, so I hope that the road guys are out big time with the salt and/or sand. It is only Dec. 14th, and we have had such a variety of weather days, no wonder people are sick alot around here. They don't know how to dress, that is what my mom would say. Like, come on, you can't get sick, even if you go outside with a wet head after washing your hair. You might get feeling cold faster, but you won't get sick.

So as far as today, I figure I really better get my hair washed and me showered. If we get the ice storm that is predicted, the power may go off, and I don't want to be stuck in the shower. We have been without power around here for a few days. I have filled up the tub with water in the one bathroom, for flushing the toilet, you know you have to have your priorities. So that is all I need to make sure I get done early today. I want to take a nap, because yesterday I didn't get to a nap, boohoo is right. My son called yesterday and got me all rilled up. Apparently the people he pays his rent to have no record in their computer system of his paying rent for the past three months. They got an eviction notice. They will be evicted on Tuesday. I paid their rent with checks two of those three months, maybe I paid all three months. So on Monday they have to go and get it all figured out. My son said that all the shelters are full in Green Bay, so they would have to sleep in his car. You can't do that with a baby. People shouldn't have to resort to sleeping in their cars, or in boxes, or on the streets. It is so sad that the United States has people trying so hard, and they still end up so poor and desitute(I think I spelled that incorrectly). I had to tell my son for the second time that I can't help him out. It is killing me inside, because I can afford to help, but I have to stop the money train. If you have read my writings for the past few years, you have read that my son moved out at age 18. I have been helping get out of financial difficulties for 5 years. Over these past 5 years he has lied to us when it has helped him out. We have bought and given him two vehicles. We have bought and given him alot of furniture which he sells or pawns for cash when he needs it. They couldn't pay all of the December rent. I know that he will also not be able to come up with any money to pay the $500.00 for his fine, so he will have to serve 7 days in jail, and I am sure as a result, will be fired from the job he has currently. Though last week, he fell off a ladder and sprained his knee and who all knows what else damage he did to the cartalige. I tell myself not to dwell over his life, and that he has to figure out what to do, I can't be his lifeline with money, he is 24 years old. Gee that hurts to think about it and write it down. I asked my husband, doesn't he feel bad about all of this, and he always responds with statements like, "well, what can I do?" My husband gets really upset with my son, because of how what my son tells me, how it affects me. It makes me frustrated, sad, angry, you name it, I am sure I have felt that emotion. Don't get me wrong, my husband has been there big time to help and support my son. My husband doesn't like how I am, once I get done talking with my son. I, myself am responsibile for how my son makes me feel. I have to be angry, and/or sad, or whatever I need to be, to get through it, so that I am able to move on. So I am very concerned about them eventually having to sleep, in the cold, out in the car, with a 15 month old little girl. I asked how much money he has, he told me $5.00, so even if they end up having to sleep in the car, $5.00 worth of gas won't last very long. I know my son, has had to in the past sleep in his car. Isn't life is the holiday season....people should be happy, safe, and warm in a nice place...not having to fucking worry about if they will have a place to sleep at, or food to feed their child. Life sucks for some and I am so sorry for those people. I want everyone and all the animals to be safe, healthy, and happy.