Well I just finished talking with the health coach that is required by our health insurance that my husband gets through his workplace. I had to have 4 of those this year. I have to tell you that I feel even more depressed after having had to talk with her. What a Debbie downer she is. She asks about progress and how it is all going. Apparently she doesn't give a flying fuck about me as a person, she doesn't remember anything about me or what I have gone through, nor do I expect her to. It just is sad to feel so bad after talking with a person whose job it is to help you with your health, even if it is required to have this health care. She wanted me to give a fucking grade score, come on, am I still in school. I told her I couldn't because I am working hard at keeping healthy and not back pedaling. She suggested that I look at the Meditteranean diet, hello, I am able to only eat 12 or so foods without bowel issues and/or allergic reactions. Like I said why should I care, well I have to and to jump through hoops. I even told myself this morning that I have to not say the wrong things, to keep positive. Well I tried, I believe I pulled it off, but I feel sad because of it. She didn't seem to care, and it was just something that she has to do and to follow through with for her job. I could hear papers so I think she was looking at my scores and her previous notes. I checked my blood pressure before the health coaching call and it was pretty low, and I checked after and it was up. So now I am writing here in hopes that I can get it out of my system and relax. It is all about money. It is all about money and the high cost of health insurance, that I can't even go into see my doctor's anymore only if it is a medical emergency. I had to cancel my 6 month checkup because my husband is still paying the hospital and clinic for his gall bladder surgery and over 10 day stay in the hospital because the health insurance doesn't cover or pay what it used to. When I was still working I paid the health insurance premiums and then the health insurance covered and paid more of the bill. So I have to listen to my husband when I ask him how much he got in his paycheck and he says it is never enough. So that is why I don't go to my medical appointments unless it is an emergency. Now in order to get my prescriptions continued I have to get to the doctors and the clinic I think by September. I will only get the minimum done to get the prescription filled for another year to save on cost. It is so sad what has happened to the American health care.

Well I have written enough, and I still continue to feel bad, though that soon will pass. You just have to let it go, and move along. It doesn't help to feel sad about something that I just can't figure out what to do to help improve it.

We got an inch of rain this morning. We are having a break and another strong storm cell will be coming through here. I really should shower and wash my hair but I am not in the mood. Maybe tomorrow I will get to it.