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What A Mother...Realization..... (2011-10-03 - 4:58 a.m.)

I love and respect my mother alot. Now I am going to write about my mother. I have had continuing issues with her over the years that are always repeats. So here goes again. I am going to get off the merry-go-round, or at least try. My mom likes to be in control, so I just let her call me. Whenever I call her, I always seem to sense that she isn't in a good mood. So I prefer that she picks the time and calls when her mood moves her. I thought, good she called last week, and talked the majority of the time with my husband. I had hoped that they wouldn't need to call so soon again. Well she called me last night just before, The Amazing Race, was going to be on. The jest of the conversation began with, and how is your husband doing at his new work place on. I said doing alright though he has to get the hang of the touch screen computers. Well, that got her talking about, how I better not be nagging him on that. I also better not be bugging him about trying to come up with a way/method to get rid of that big debris pile I have out in the backyard. She said that she doesn't understand why a person with my education and degrees isn't able to get a job and help with paying the bills. She did ask at first if I was still getting unemployment, which surprised her that I was. I said back to her about how I am always being positive for the most part and supportive to my husband. She just doesn't seem to know me. It first made me angry, so much so that I went outside and raked after walking the dogs. So I didn't watch The Amazing Race. I thought it best to work out my angry/frustration with my mom. It is really sad that she says those things to me. She seems to be a "debbie downer" when it comes to me. I get it now about my mother, I have for a long time really, it just is hard to realize that my mother will never change. She is nice and then not so nice. She has to use her tongue to burn you. If I could find a job, don't you think that I would start working again. Why does she think that I bother my husband about stuff. I let him sleep and do what he needs to so that he can work. It makes me wonder about the private relationship my mom and dad have had over the years. I just wish she wouldn't do this. Oh, and then, when it seems that I am saying something that hits a cord with her, she says, I have to go now, because she sounds sad and is probably thinking she is the victim. I never seem to make her happy or anything. So in the future, I will do as I always do, let her do the talking when she wants to call. I will endure the comments because it is easier, I realize that she isn't lashing out at me, but perhaps herself. It is your loss mother, for not being kinder to your eldest daughter, no wonder I keep my distance.

GO - SWIMMING

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