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"A Pity-Party for One, Please..." (2008-05-26 - 12:56 p.m.)

Just a pre-warning here. I am going to have a pity party for one. I always have to be so upbeat for everyone else. My husband is always so down and tired and so sad sack like, that I am always having to boost him up. I have lived here now for 14 years, and I still don't like it. There I said it. I have tried for 14 years to like living here. I moved from my old place, it was a house in the middle of two acres. I lived on a gravel road, one neighbor was 1/2 mile away and in the other direction the farm was 1 mile away. The road wasn't busy. There were no railroads with trains that blow their whistles at so many different times a day. You can hear the highway noise from this place. I had to make a choice 14 years ago, my husband didn't want to move, so I really had only two choices, move and get on with my life, or not move and move on with my life, probably without him. So I moved. Though today I feel so confined, the mosquitos are terrible here. There are so many trees, I haven't sat outside at night in 14 years. I used to do that where I used to live, I would sit out and watch the stars, there were so many, it was so beautiful. Now I have no energy to even go somewhere at night to see the stars. It is something that I have lost and it makes me so sad. I don't like it here, I pretend alot so that my husband doesn't worry about me. I worry more about him and how ho-hum he is, he lacks energy. He sits around, rests, and works. He gets sleep when he can, and of course it is never enough. We never finish any projects here in this house. He doesn't like how the neighborhood has become either. He says it isn't like it used to be. He can't stand the man who bought the two lots next to us. There really isn't much to say about this. My husband always wants to hurry up and fix the problem. I don't think you can hurry up and fix my longing to see the stars in the night sky. You just can't up and sell a place and have no place to go to. I don't even have the energy to get this place here in order for a realtor to show it. I just don't have any energy, it all goes into my health and how I need to get through each day. I know it is sad, so like I said I am having a pity party for one today. I proclaim today, "time-out for myself and a pity party for one!"

GO - SWIMMING

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