So I have another topic: TRAPPED

Last night I felt trapped inside of myself. I have an extremely hard time some nights trying to sleep. I get this trapped feeling, you know how you lay there and have a chat with yourself and thoughts. All I would like to have once in awhile is a whole 5 or 6 hours of straight sleep in a row. It varies what wakes me up each night. I don't even fight being awake any more. I just look forward to getting home after work and CURVES, and being able to go to bed by 8:00 pm or a short time later after that. Now I see how trapped I feel at times. I am always exhausted. It is an effort to make love to my husband. I feel guilty that for 10 or is is 11 years that I have been keeping my husband awake, or I wake him up because I can't sleep. It seems that I am always apolozing to him. He is a nurse, and his work schedule is a 12 hour shift, 7 pm to 7 am. So he usually gets home by 8 am, then sleeps during the day. At least on the nights he doesn't work, after I leave for work in the morning, he is able to go back to sleep. Though I still feel guilty about waking him up during the night. So this trapped feeling is all tied up with being so tired. That's it.

~Angel